You know you’re a Band Geek when:

Note: most, if not all of these will only be funny to Band Geeks; some may only even make sense to members of the Forest Park Marching Band  (sometimes marked with an ‘***’) Deal with it.

<> - means that someone else gave me this one, they will be credited

1. Changing in front of your fellow band members is not embarrassing in the slightest

2. Seeing other band geeks change in front of you is not at all sexually arousing.

3. You put the Band Room as your primary address in all forms

4. You also put the Band Room phone number as the number you can be contacted quickest by.

5. You know all of the cheerleading routines

6. …and have trained yourself to ignore them

7. …and have made up different lyrics to all the cheers (all appropriate, of course ;) )

8. Reeds taste good

9. …and you aren’t a woodwind player

10. You start to use cork grease as lip balm

11. You drink more valve oil than water

12. You always walk in step to the person next to you

13. …even if they’re not in marching band

14. You can argue intelligently about how good you plume smells

15. …and insist that others should try their plumes as well

16. ***You died during the second song of the 2006 show (Promise of Living, Copland) because it had a ¾ measure and you were told to start with your RIGHT foot***

17. ***You still have nightmares about the right foot step off***

18. You can consistently get into uniform (plus hat and gloves) in 3 minutes or less

19. … on a moving bus

20. You have actually timed the above

21. Your instrument has a name

22. You have a band tan

23. …from your band socks

24. You randomly break into last year’s show (or years prior)

25. …and other people join you

26. Your social life revolves around band events and band people

27. You only have Marching Band friends (almost…)

28. ***You can accurately predict when your (male) band director is PMSing (right before a competition… always)***

29. All your jokes are inside (band) jokes

30. …or start with “this one time at band camp…”

31. When you march around the halls

32. …and the mall

33. …and home

34. …and everywhere else

35. You unconsciously check to see if your toes are up to the right angle

36. All your nightmares include life without band

37. You can go on for hours about the personality types of different instruments

38. Letters past ‘G’ mean nothing to you

39. You say your alphabet and include flats and sharps

40. …and repeat after G#, starting with Ab

41. You dream about Dr. Beat

42. People ask you for your name and you give your dot number

43. ***You have thought up ways to kill people with a dot book***

44. ***…and a music stand***

45. ***You know (and dread) the ‘mouthpiece game’***

46. You never leave your trumpet mouthpiece alone in a trumpet sectional when you go to the bathroom

47. …and have nightmares about what happens to those poor soul’s mouthpieces and how they don’t know when they’ve come back and put it on their mouth

48. You count only in multiples of 4

49. …and think that 4’s look like flags

50. …and think that 16 is a holy number

51. When you can sing the parts of other sections

52. …throughout the entire show

53. …from years past

54. …in tune

55. …and do it better than players from that section

56. You enjoy debating the virtues of Dinkles and Drillmasters (GO DINKLES!!)

57. You know what Dinkles and Drillmasters are

58. You obsessively shine your instrument

59. ***…and hold brass shining parties in the bathroom***

60. You have a specific formula for shining your marching shoes (mine is below)

a. first a brisk cleaning with a damp washcloth
b. next a thorough go over with distilled vinegar and a paper towel
c. then a good cleaning with windex
d. lastly wipe it with a paper towel, then shine with windex (it can never get too clean)

61. …which you share with only your most trusted friends (like I just did with everyone on the internet)

62. You realize that you enjoy band camp more than the rest of summer

63. …even if your birthday is in the summer

64. You feel enraged every time you see the driver’s education class driving on YOUR practice parking lot

65. …mostly because they aren’t using the yard lines, but the driver’s ed
lines

66. ***You pray over the summer that you will be a chalk person in as many sets as possible (who has the important drill set in the form… I know tape or CDs are used at other schools…)***

67. You take your mouthpiece everywhere (brass players)

68. You carry reeds in your pocket wherever you go (woodwinds)

69. You wonder why the cheerleaders can only spell a couple of words, but still manage to mispronounce those

70. Somebody calls you a band geek and you start crying and start your grammy speech: “I’d like to thank my…”

71. You properly fear the color guard

72. You have a drawer in your room just for marching band stuff (socks, shirts, shorts, shoes…)

73. You consider wearing your many band shirts to school every day (I have enough between just last year and this year)

74. You dance more at the football game than anywhere else

75. ***You have a pre-chosen dance partner for the fight song***

76. You know the horn moves of all the other sections during the cadences
77. …and have tried to invent new ones for your section (cause the trumpet’s moves suck…)

78. You know where all the ‘band tables’ are at lunch

79. …and only ever sit there

80. You automatically know whether a food is ‘uniform safe’

81. You have tried to eat nachos with cheese during a football game

82. …and not been caught

83. You have found a better place for your money since the jacket pocket AND the pants pocket suck…

84. You remember peoples instrument before their name

85. …and describe people as ‘that (insert instrument here) player

86. You know everyone else’s personal business

87. …and all the latest band gossip

88. You have perfect pitch

89. You have a dozen ‘piccolo tuning’ jokes

90. You plan to major in music

91. You NEVER miss a band event

92. You are NEVER late

93. …but are always 30 minutes early

94. You keep valve oil with you at all times

95. …in your pocket (it never falls out of your uniform pocket :) )

96. …in your pencil case at school

97. …in your backpack

98. …in your purse

99. …and in your lunch bag

100. You call up all your old band directors and say hi

101. …monthly

102. You have spent the night in the band room

103. …multiple times

104. You consistently break the ‘don’t change outside a bathroom’ rule

105. You have changed in the middle of the band room, in front of the whole band without once appearing indecent

106. ***You have a dozen theories about how the lip prints that have been on the window in the door to practice room 2 since last October got there***

107. You switch instruments with your friends in the stands and play the stand tunes on their instrument

108. You let others borrow you instrument and play with your mouthpiece with no qualms

109. …and don’t even wipe it when they give it back

110. You are the one who spreads the bi-monthly band disease that infects everyone

111. You have a list of alternate uses for the practice rooms - contributed to by most of the Clarinet section (changing rooms, make-out rooms, movie watching rooms…)

112. You wish you could keep your plume with you

113. ***You have your own preferred band hairdresser, and make an appointment with her the moment she comes in (Kate! Do my hair first!)***

114. You have a preferred band hair style

115. You are completely convinced that people only come to football games to see the band play at halftime… why else

116. You can have your uniform off your body, hung up properly, and be waiting in line to put it back in under 10 seconds (so as to beat the uniform returning line)

117. You have seriously considered wearing your marching shoes to school

118. …and have

119. You have transposed your marching band music to another key, just for the heck of it

120. You wish that during concert season you were out on the field

121. You can be found before school, at lunch, and after school down in the band room with all the other band members

122. You spend more time in the band room then at your own house

123. You know your band locker numbers (I have 5 of ‘em)

124. …but don’t know where your school locker is

125. The only dresses you have are black and concert style

126. You go to parades that you are not in and make sure lines are straight, horn angles are parallel, and everyone is on step

127. You can play your cadence despite the fact that you aren’t in drumline

128. You always start off on the left foot

129. You count down the days remaining until band camp starts

130. You are trying to walk in step with your friends, and they mess up on purpose

131. …so you do that hissing thing (you know ssst)

132. …or you scream (in public) LEFT, LEFT, LEFT

133. You conduct every time you hear a song play on the radio

134. You've managed to build a beach-side hut using your old reeds

135. You’ve built an igloo using reed cases

136. You go back to your old high school to help with summer band practices

137. You don’t understand football rivalries, just band rivalries (Battlefield, you’re going down)

138. You don’t know what professional football is, but you’re an avid fan of the professional drum corps (Blue Devils… duh)

139. You have done everything on the list

140. You can add to the list

141. You wrote a list titled ‘You know you’re a band geek when…’

142. You understand everything on the list

143. You are bi-sectional

144. ***You place bets on the annual band camp water-balloon-volleyball matches***

145. You the one that the freshmen come to because they cannot button, zip, snap, and clasp their jacket together... -_-;;;;;;;

146.<w> You are able to skip in step

147.<w> ...while in uniform

148.<w> ... carrying your instrument

149.<w> ... singing your part of the half time show.

150.<la>  You have been hit/injured by a flag or baton.

151.<la>  More than once you have been injured an (most likely your own) instrument.

152.<la>  You've played your instrument for so long in one time that spit starts dripping out the end or through the keys.

153.<la>  You remember drills from previous shows.

154.<la>  You have the band room number on your phone.

155.<la>  You have your band director's personal home/cell number.

155.<la>  You have your band director's personal home/cell number.

156.<la>  ...on speed dial.

157.         ...as one of your ICE numbers (In Case of Emergency)

158.<la>  You what your band director does in his/her free time.

159.<fo>  Your're in time with the fire alarm.


<w> - credit to WayraHyena
<fr> - credit to forensicsbabe09
<la> - credit to lapetitballerina